Most Paranoid Moment

It was outside Atlanta Georgia. I was working a telco, finishing software on site because sales would promise any delivery date.

“You want it yesterday? Yes Sir! What time yesterday”

So you wrote the user interface first so training could begin while you finished writing the rest of the system on site. Usually in a noisy Teletype room.

The company leased turnkey systems and was always shipping parts to techs all over the country. Many times unneeded parts were shipped with special herbal padding.

I had went to the Atlanta airport after escaping the teletype room. I picked up some padding and headed for the motel.

On my way to grab something to eat, I pulled out the bag of weed and started stuffing a bowl. I crested an overpass and on the other side was a road block. Seems a prisoner escaped somewhere.

With no time to stash anything, I stuffed bag & pipe between my legs, thankful I hadn’t fired yet. It wouldn’t have been a big deal normally, smile, show ID, and get waved on.

ID was the problem. I had it but it didn’t look like any licence he’d every seen. It was an IL Probationary Licence. It doesn’t have the restrictions of a hardship licence. I was free to drive anywhere, any time.

But, it is printed on flimsy paper that you must fold to fit in a wallet. And on the back it says something like, ‘If you catch this here boy doing anything. Y’all just take this licence away, right quick, hear’

When Mr. GA State trooper saw that, I got the eye, though those mirror sunglasses. “Y’all wait right heah, boy!”

That’s when the real paranoia set in. No way to stash evidence with an army of troopers around. I dreaded him coming back and asking me to get out. An ounce and a pipe falling on the ground, fuck.

After what seemed like hours (was only a few minutes), he came back after checking the licence was indeed official. He said I could go. The big smile and thank you were not forced.

I grabbed some fast food crap and headed back to the motel a different way. No police this time but I waited until I was back at the Motel to fire up.

Fugitive

Dr. Kimball’s quest was for the one-armed man.

What friends fail to realize is I’m a one armed man.  Oh, I have two arms and they work fairly well. But I am almost always using one hand to hold on to something to keep from falling.

It may seem efficient to stack shit on top of other shit. But when the one armed man is trying to get what’s on the bottom it is a major pain.

And like today when I tried to extract a paper towel roll and a fucking bag of baggies falls out, I might trash it or may just fling the offending item somewhere out of my way.

That’s why there are baggies all over my dining room. They can fucking stay there.

Fuck SPAMers

I set up a Wiki for the Celebrate Granite City group with the intention it would be used to create a collaborative history of Granite City.

Of course, as with anything free, SPAMers are using the Wiki to create fraudulent pages for their fraudulent SPAM to link to. I’m working on making access more restrictive but until then, I watch what pages get created. If they have SPAM links, the user is blocked, forever and the page(s) created get a redirect to this page.

I’d love to see their faces when they try and visit ‘their’ page(s) wondering why their SPAM isn’t getting them suckers.

http://www.celebrategranitecity.org/YourGCStories/index.php?title=User:CharlinMcCaffer

#fucqueSPAM

54-40 or Fight!

I’ve been thinking about which country the US is going to invade next in the never ending quest to make the world safe for Big-Oil.

Who could it be? With the military downsizing, we should pick an easy country to invade, I’d think. That’s not just a measure of how good their military is. Logistics is a bitch. So I’m figuring the next country is Canada. We can whup them polite Cannucks and logistics is a snap.

The TeaBaglicans are going to bring up the old ’54-40 or Fight!’ slogan and demand we invade Canada and take back what’s rightfully ours. The Demonican James Polk campaigned on that slogan, then traitorously compromised for the 49th parallel.

Righting that wrong just happens to take in a good chunk of the Alberta Oil Sands. I’m betting they go for all and change the boundary demand to ’60-40 of Fight!’ Snappy, eh?

Highest Life Form?

As an agnostic, I’m unsure of the existence of a Supreme Being turning the crank. But if there is one, he’s got to be fucking Japanese.

There are 50 Trillion cells in your body. Most have a nucleus containing a folded strand of your DNA. Straighten out that single strand and it’s 6 feet long.

So the Supreme Being has to one Origami folding mother fucker to fold 6 feet into one cell and 55+ Million miles of DNA into your body. Has to be Japanese.

All that DNA is organized into pairs of chromosomes.  Fruit flies have 4 pairs, a banana 11, a Rhesus monkey 21, and finally humans with 23 pairs of chromosomes.

Y’all jes might assume from that, the more chromosomes, the higher the life form.

Lets continue and see what the highest life form is. Chimpanzees have 24 pairs (WTF!?!) Cows have 30 (WTFF!?!) and chickens  have 39 pairs (WTFFFFFFF!?!).

Does this mean Foghorn Leghorn is the planet’s highest life form?

▶ Climbing the North Face of the Apartment Hall

▶ Monty Python – Climbing the North Face of the Uxbridge Road – YouTube.

This is much how I feel getting around my apartment. I’m a mountaineer, finding every possible handhold to assault route to the toilet.

Like a mountaineer, I use a three point (or more) system. I make sure I’m solid with three appendages before moving a fourth.

It’s just a security blanket thing most of the time but there are times when a leg does something other than I intended and every hold helps.

I annoy other people walking in halls. I walk on the left, against then normal traffic flow. Sorry, but I like having that wall on my left, you can go around. Get over it.

Another technique I copied from mountaineers is climbing a vertical rock chute. I use it after falls to climb up a corner, or doorway to my feet again. But rarely now. I follow the 3+ points rule always. I even sometimes do the hallway without a cane. Such a daredevil.

‘Crat Aggravating

It’s no secret that ‘crats get lazy, just sucking away at your pay cheque. Sometimes you just need to stir them up and make them run around to keep them from sticking to their chairs.

You don’t want a jab a stick in the hornets nest stirring up. You might get stung. No, what you want ants running around a disturbed nest effect. The perfect thing is to ask for something the law requires them to have and provide to you upon request. Then watch the fun as they try to attempt to comply.

I use the ADA to stir up ‘crats. ADA Title II 35.107 says: Any public entity with more than 50 employees from school up to state level (Feds don’t do ADA of course) is required to have ADA Compliance officer(s). And to provide to any interested party (you don’t have to be a gimp for this one) the: name(s); office address(es); telephone(s) of their ADA Compliance officer(s).

You can call but you’ll miss the excitement when they put you on hold and they run around crazy. If you like talking to people, it’s guaranteed you’ll get shuffled from ‘crat to ‘crat.

But the best is to walk or gimp in with a smile and ask, “May I speak to the ADA Compliance officer for …?”

When the receptionist doesn’t know what you’re talking about, point out they are required by law to have one and provide you their name. Take a seat and watch the fun begin. They may have had one in 1990 but you can bet that’s been forgotten. They may have to create one on the spot for you. If you see the ADA Compliance guy emerge from a hurried conference, he just got drafted.

See all kinds of fun with a simple, polite, and legal request. I had fun with my alder-critters when getting the ‘No Disabled’ sign removed. I got a lot of “uh, uh, … I’ll get back to you.”

Hello world!

Welcome to Fifty-Fifty. “I figure the odds be fifty-fifty, I might just have something to say.” ~ Frank Zappa.

Y’all can make up your own minds. There is no theme, just random musings of the voices in my head.

But, your are likely to find comments on rights for all beings, rants against the fascist police state, the Banksters and such.

Be on the look out for a Bankster post. I’m a fixin to use the Bible and set the TeaBaglicans and the Christian[don’t think so] Bigot Churches on the Banksters. Won’t that be fun?

 

Christians vs Banksters

Coming soon to PPV

TeaBaglicans and Christian[yeah, right] Bigot groups are fond of spouting selective Biblical passages while ignoring others that don’t suit their view.

You can find all sorts of things reading the Bible critically.

First, you don’t have to get far to quash the ‘Perfect’ claims. It claims both that

  • man and woman were created on the 6th day
  • and woman was created another day from Adams rib. That’s after Adam turns down God’s bestiality offer. Eve could have been a sheep.

The animals go onto Noah’s Ark

  • two by two and also
  • the clean animals by sevens and the unclean by twos.

It depends on which ‘perfectly correct, word of God’ verses you choose.

The Old Testament God was a sociopath. I guess having a kid mellowed him out some. Elisha was heading to visit Elijah. A bunch of kids made baldy comments about Elisha. God sent she bears to rip two and forty children to pieces for that baldy taunt. “And God so loved the world …”

In the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot is the only one in those cities who was righteous enough to be saved. When the crowd wanted to meet Lot’s guests he offers the mob his virgin daughters for gang bang. Righteous? Yeah, that means if a bill collector or such knocks on your door during a little dinner party, it’s righteous to throw them your virgin daughters so they don’t disturb your guests. Hey, it says so in the book. If you don’t do it ya ain’t gwine up to hebbin.

The Biblical Pickers and Choosers seem to always attack the innocent. I say sic them of the guilty, Wall Street and the Banksters!

Usury, collecting interest on a loan is a sin. It’s right there in the sort of shared Holy Book of three religions.

Deuteronomy 23:19 Thou shalt not lend upon interest to thy brother: interest of money, interest of victuals, interest of any thing that is lent upon interest.

Deuteronomy 23:20 Unto a foreigner thou mayest lend upon interest; but unto thy brother thou shalt not lend upon interest; that the LORD thy God may bless thee in all that thou puttest thy hand unto, in the land whither thou goest in to possess it.

Jews could charge non Jews interest but not fellow Jews.

Islam took it farther and still bans any interest. That has to lead to some interesting circumlocutions to charge interest without ‘charging interest’.

But this is Murica and Murica is Christian, Right?

Hate to bust your bubble, bucko. Jesus was against charging interest. Got ya! The Christian Church banned interest. Even being in favour of charging interest could get you done for heresy.

And it wasn’t just Jesus just about everyone was on the interest is evil line. Moses, Plato, Aristotle, Cato, Cicero, Seneca, Aquinas, Muhammad, …

It wasn’t until the 14th century that the Church allowed charging of interest without excommunication or getting done for heresy.

So what’s a knight to do when he needs a new sword and is skint. Well that’s what Jews were tolerated for. They were already damned so they could lend money to Christians, handy.

Even handier, they have almost no legal status. So, if you don’t pay them back, they can’t do much. Nobility loved that because they could always ban from their land any Jew they owed money.

Christian banking didn’t appear until lot’s of righteous Knights returned with plunder. Jew were inconvenient then. Nobility had money to lend and money to make. With the right grease the Church decided Christians could lend money at interest after all.

Jews were massacred in one town, by herding them into a castle yard and burning them to death. No, not the evil Krauts, it happened in York, England.

And and little while after Edward I came up with a solution to his deficit. Expel all Jews with only what they can carry, anything left behind belongs to the Crown. It’s good to be the King. Sounds like Germany, don’t it.

So all y’all TeaBaglicans & Christians[sic fucques]whip up some poorly spelled signs and head for Wall Street. Banks are against the Word of The Lord! That target is at least no innocent like all your others. Focus the Holy Wrath of God on the Banksters.