MDA Muscle Walk 2016

April 3, 2016 at 12:05pm marked the start of #MusclewalkSTL 2016. Team Steve met its donation goal this year. We even got a MDA Bringing Strength To Life T-shirt.

The turnout was impressive. It took over 5 minutes for all the walkers to cross the starting line.

It was a lovely day to get out for sun, fresh air and a walk. Team Steve finished the course in 22 minutes. I led the cheer squad. I didn’t walk. Hey, it took me almost 22 minutes to make it to the toilet and back ;-)>>>

I watched the walkers. I like people watching but all the women in Spandex pants made it very enjoyable. I know I’m a Dirty Ol Man. I wear the badge proudly.

There were also lots of friendly dogs around, including a peanut eating bulldog.


Team Steve

  • Back Row: Allie; Mike; Ed; JD
  • Front Row: MB; Steve; Jude; Colleen



Enhanced Interrogation

6 August was wiggle your toes day. I don’t, actually can’t, celebrate. I can’t wiggle my toes any more.

I had an appointment with my Neuroquack?. He wanted me to wiggle my toes for him. I had a good laugh over that.

It was more like an enhanced interrogation day for me, complete with electric shocks and painful needles. Like the government they have innocuous sounding names for their torture methods. They call them Electromyogram & Nerve Conduction Study.

I had these done a couple of years ago but I don’t recall the pain levels being as high. The last nerve conduction study had a couple of severe shocks. This time they kept turning up the voltage until my body jerked strongly. That was followed by the EMG where they stick a needle in you. The neuroquack? seemed a bit sadistic in his needle application.

But I didn’t talk. Well, except for a “FUCK THIS SHIT!”, near the end of the test.

The tests were at De Paul. The worst pain was getting to and from the appointment. It took me 20 freakin minutes to gimp in from the closest gimp parking spot I could find. It took as long to gimp back to my car after. Fuck De Paul, never going near there again.

I was pissed when I was told during enhanced interrogation that they had free valet parking for the disabled. I saw the valet parking sign with a prominent price tag. No signs saying it was  free if you had a gimp tag or plates. You’re supposed to mead minds to find out about it.  I guess they think gimps grow a psychic sense as compensation for mobility loss.

Highest Life Form?

As an agnostic, I’m unsure of the existence of a Supreme Being turning the crank. But if there is one, he’s got to be fucking Japanese.

There are 50 Trillion cells in your body. Most have a nucleus containing a folded strand of your DNA. Straighten out that single strand and it’s 6 feet long.

So the Supreme Being has to one Origami folding mother fucker to fold 6 feet into one cell and 55+ Million miles of DNA into your body. Has to be Japanese.

All that DNA is organized into pairs of chromosomes.  Fruit flies have 4 pairs, a banana 11, a Rhesus monkey 21, and finally humans with 23 pairs of chromosomes.

Y’all jes might assume from that, the more chromosomes, the higher the life form.

Lets continue and see what the highest life form is. Chimpanzees have 24 pairs (WTF!?!) Cows have 30 (WTFF!?!) and chickens  have 39 pairs (WTFFFFFFF!?!).

Does this mean Foghorn Leghorn is the planet’s highest life form?